Dreams and Possibilities

The Nature of Us

I grew out of a field of silent love, like the rocks and flowers and trees, surrounded by a golden sea of liquid amber waves, a blanket of love.

There is a glorious collaboration of bones and muscles, skin and blood, and the elemental forces shaping this body of my heart. - in my journal dated September 2020.

If you have been reading along with me over the weeks, you know that I am an explorer of our interconnection with the aliveness of nature, what David Bohm termed the holomovement, the undivided flowing movement of life. More about him later in this essay.

I have learned that we contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman famously said of himself. I am surprised by life when I least expect it, especially when doing nothing, resting, or rejuvenating. This is when my waking dreams occur.

Like all of us, I have ups and downs, and I have learned that sometimes my most beautiful experiences come out of being lost, passive, tired, bored or receptive, basically letting go. I share some of these dreams below because I know we all have unique and amazing possibilities, within/without, when we simply be. The body expresses the entirety of ourselves, the fullness of nature and possibilities, when we let go. We are nature. To me, these are all interactions with deeper parts of my self.

All but one of the following arose when I was awake and resting.

This is from a waking dream in May 2021: I am lying in bed and I dive into the waters within a pyramid inside me. I begin swimming under water. I come to a golden palace. It is not solid, rather very fluid, I discover as I enter. Pure gold. Feels like pure wealth. I realize I can feel anything I want. I choose fun - and begin to slide, or become golden slides, the shape of me almost disappearing in the gold pouring into the pools, pure movement with just an etching of my head, the rest of me dissolving in the gold. Then, I think love, and the pool becomes this nourishing all encompassing golden nectar throughout my body.

The above is something that first happened in my early thirties. I would see a pyramid inside my head and dive into an inner pool within it, then exit the pyramid into open waters. I would travel underwater and then emerge somewhere else. Recently I learned that most pyramids were built over water or springs. I want to emphasize that these events arose naturally, I am not making an effort using my mind, I am sinking into my body, pulled by the emerging dream.

A few weeks later in early June, I am feeling flat and go lie on my bed at 1pm on a sunny afternoon: I want to feel joy. I feel a bubbling of gold in my heart area, little spurts jumping in the fluid gold. I think to go into my pineal gland and enter. Then I feel a fountain of gold centered in my heart center flowing upward. Eventually it becomes a torus, I am a flowing gold torus with a fountain arising in my center. I realize how much it is like a butterfly. This goes on for about an hour.

In late July I wrote: Last night while still awake I was lying in bed, feeling the wind on the water inside, feeling my breath and emotions creating various ripples in the water. Then I found my roots reaching down to the earth, to her central core with a fierce loving passion, sweet and yet intense. Soon I felt her waters begin to stream up though my body, through my bones, the rich mineral sea rushing through me all the way up to my face, to the bones of my skull, to my teeth and gums. It was pure love, a love of bone and teeth, a love of mouth and gums, a fullness and richness on up to my brain and pineal gland. Then an intense connection with my tongue and the top of my mouth, a feeling of richness gathering there - then a reverse flow from the pineal gland into throat and neck.

In May of 2022, at the beach I see logs and tree trunks have been re-arranged by the high tide. I remember my dream from the night before, going down many flights of stairs to the river, everything so bright with huge rocks. There’s a pool that is full when I first look, but empty later as I get closer, with water rushing by at the edges. Folks are lined up on the ledges above the waters.

I continued in my journal that day: The ebb and the flow, we love the fullness but despair at the emptiness, forgetting that there is a dance. Like the seasons, we are moved by elemental forces that shape us into new formations. Yet we build artificial structures that make movement and change more difficult, we resist the stream moving us in a new direction - and then sometimes a wave engulfs us. Receptivity begins to crack the structures, allowing new ideas, new waves of energy.

Often the waking dreams come when I am flat, tired or bored, and I surrender to doing nothing, just lying down and feeling. When I am feeling full of energy I rarely lie down; these are the stuff of my moods, nature taking over when I have let go of doing. This one occurred when the sky was very dark, and I was contracting, feeling my own darkness, in September of 2020: I felt into my belly center and found the cosmos inside, then I felt the sun and moon and planets so full of power, intense cosmic power. I sent that energy all through the inner earth and all over the land.

Here is some theory to make sense of all this, from author David Storoy, in an article entitled David Bohm, Implicate Order and Holomovement:

Space is not empty. It is full, a plenum as opposed to a vacuum, and is the ground for the existence of everything, including ourselves. The universe is not separate from this cosmic sea of energy. – David Bohm.

The holomovement is a key concept in David Bohm’s interpretation of quantum mechanics and for his overall worldview. It brings together the holistic principle of undivided wholeness with the idea that everything is in a state of process or becoming (or what he calls the universal flux). For Bohm, wholeness is not a static oneness, but a dynamic wholeness-in-motion in which everything moves together in an interconnected process. The concept is presented most fully in Wholeness and the implicate order published in 1980.

Referring to quantum theory, Bohm’s basic assumption is that elementary particles are actually systems of extremely complicated internal structure, acting essentially as amplifiers of information contained in a quantum wave. As a consequence, he has evolved a new and controversial theory of the universe. A new model of reality that Bohm calls the Implicate Order.

The theory of the Implicate Order contains an ultra-holistic cosmic view; it connects everything with everything else. In principle, any individual element could reveal detailed information about every other element in the universe. The central underlying theme of Bohm’s theory is the unbroken wholeness of the totality of existence as an undivided flowing movement without borders.

This is what I feel I am experiencing, in waking dreams, and often in everyday reality, as I have written in previous essays. I will end today with this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, which reinforces turning within our own bodies, and ties together my own experience with David Bohm’s theory:

You are part of the universe; you are made of stars. When you look at your loved one, you see that he is also made of stars and carries eternity inside…

We cannot take anything out of anything else. We are the mountains and rivers; we are the sun and stars. Everything inter-is.

This is what the physicist David Bohm called the implicate order. At first, we see only the explicate order, but as soon as we realize that things do not exist outside one another, we touch the deepest level of the cosmic.

We realize that we cannot take the water out of the wave. And we cannot take the wave out of the water. Just as the wave is the water itself, we are the ultimate.

If we want to touch the ultimate, we have to look within our own body and not outside. Contemplating deeply the body from within, we can touch reality in itself.

If your mindfulness and concentration are deep as you practice walking meditation in nature, or as you contemplate a beautiful sunset or your own human body, you can touch the true nature of the cosmos.

You can touch the true nature of the cosmos. May it be so.

Thank you for joining me here today!

Sabrina Page, MA in Philosophy, Cosmology and Consciousness. My background includes working with individuals and groups, with a focus on somatic inquiry and embodiment to support you in living life fully, freely, and fluidly, intertwined with nature. As well, I have studied movement, dance and astrology with some of the leading individuals in their fields. My private sessions are offered on zoom, phone, or in person in Bolinas, Ca.

More information is available on my website, sabrinapage.com

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Of Presence and Mystery